My Foot Fetish ? ? ?

It's probably not really a fetish, but what is it that compels me to shop shoe bargains.  In my male persona I may buy a pair of shoes every year or two.  When Leelee takes over, I'm shopping in shoe stores, online, anywhere there is a great bargain on shoes.  Today I got an email from a web site where I've shopped for some ladies wear in the past.  It was advertising 20% off the first item you buy and 40% off the third item.  Sounds great so where do I head but the the clearance shoes.  After all, 40% off a clearance is a great deal.

I plan the purchases so that my first buy is for a pair of wedge sandals already on sale for under $25.  The third item is a pair of pearl pumps with an ankle strap on sale for under $35 but NOW 40% off.  My breathing is heavy!

What you may ask was my second item at regular price?  A pair of shorts the the guy in me - $5.99.

Again I ponder, what compels the lady in me to be so drawn to shoes.  Maybe because they are so cute; maybe because they look so good on me; maybe because a girl needs comfy shoes for every occasion - I don't know but I think I do know why the ladies' shoe department is so much larger that the men's in every shoe store I have ever been in!

Shoe Whores of the World - you've got a new member :)  Don't get in my way in the clearance aisle! 

Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone

There hasn't been a lot of time to write this past week and even less to think about what I would like to write.  This evening I had an idea start to crawl around in my head and I decided to sit down and see if I could turn it into words.  I thought I'd take a quick look at Mistress S's blog before I started.  She's added a playlist to her sidebar and the second song that turned up on the list was "Ain't No Sunshine..." by Al Green.  I love that version of this song and I let it play for a minute.  Out of the lyrics as Al Green sang came the reality of the idea that had been toying with me.

For a really long time the essence that has become LeeLee has been hiding out in a side of me that I had been denying.  As I said in a previous post, embarking on the cross dressing life, even in a small way, came from an unexpected combination of circumstances.  Once I embraced the femme side of myself, I found a new "sunshine" that chased away a shadow that I'd lived with for so long.  Today, I realize that this part of me that I can now embrace and cherish is what has filled me up and made my "house" (that's me) a "home" (that's me with LeeLee in my mind).

I know, I know, I know, I know that this time she's going to stay!

What's Normal??

The home place is not normal tonight - there's just me and some animals since family is gone until tomorrow.  It is a good evening to dress up and try out a new wig and body shaper that I have gotten recently.  I like them both and have enjoyed the opportunity to get fancy and spend a few hours in LeeLee's world.

I also spent some time reading in Vanessa's blog (Cross Dresser Heaven) about her thoughts on Amy Bloom's book, Normal.  Vanessa remarks how the author is dissing the heterosexual crossdresser as lacking the courage to act on their TG desires.  Frankly, imho, the author has no clue as to what goes on in our minds.  I'm not looking for a gender change.  I want only the opportunity to let my inner female loose for a while.  She's been penned up and repressed for a long time.  Now that I've found her, I want to nurture her and give her the chance to grow some.  Is that normal??  Absolutely it is normal for me.

I gave up a long time ago trying to define normal for those around me.  Frankly, I have come to believe that normal is and by rights needs to be a personal decision.  My normal is my normal and you can't go judging me by the standards of your normal.

My friend and mentor, Mistress S., wrote recently about a bad experience with someone who tried to define her by his wishes.  That's abusive in the purest fashion.  So for the "normal" folks out there, don't mess around with me or judge me as you think I should be.  If you can't accept that my normal is what it is, get the F*** out of my space!!